So, even though there wasn't any school for Rowan today, we still had to drop by to pay his tuition for the month. I was very nervous about how he might react and tried to prepare him before our arrival. "We are going to school to drop off a check, okay Rowan?" to which he promptly replied: "No. No. No." I tried to explain and again he came back with the triple negative. So I braced myself for some action.
As we pulled up he just calmly looked around - raising his eyebrows - not too sure of what the deal actually is. We parked the car and to my surprise he remained totally calm even as we entered the building. I was relieved.
When the staff started talking to him, however, his lip started curling down and the tears came rushing in. Slowly the crying got louder and louder. This was when I decided it was time to go. I said to Rowan: "Say 'bye' to your teachers!" and with a bit of a howl he managed to push "Bye!" out as we left through the door. So sweet. But then something even more precious happened...
As we got outside he took in a deep breath, and without any more crying he exhaled a very relieved "Shoo!" and wiped the tears from his face. All I could do was to hug him as hard and long as I could.
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Oh, Elaine, I loved your blog entries about Rowan going to school. It was so sweet it made me cry, really. Those letting go times are so hard and so necessary...what a good mama you are! You are really paying attention, watching but not trying to change what has to happen. Rowan will grow up knowing that you trust him to have the strength to face difficult things with courage. Great work!
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